Along my journey, I experienced some rejections and frustration with one of the major one came from unwilling singles to be interviewed, I have no intention to force them, after all this is totally voluntary. In our culture, people are being polite, they won't say no straight to your face but they will ask you a lot of questions and ask you to look for someone else first, if still you can't find any, then you go back to them. One even asked me, "why not interview successful women? nothing interesting about singles?" They became very philosophical in in their answer, very superficial, and go around the bushes, I know straight away they are hesitant and won't be willing to share and being sincere in their sharing. I asked myself the big W, WHY? Do they have things to hide and felt that I'm trying to dig their secret; do they feel insecure, inadequate and incomplete, just because they are not married? And interesting fact I found is that, the higher that person is, I mean education wise, the more difficult for me to approach them. Again WHY? I am expecting that people who have PhD can 'easily' participate because they know that I'm doing this for the sake of my PhD but they are making it difficult for me, so, again, WHY?
Lesson I learned and reflect a lot:
*Hari ini hari orang (minta tolong), next time hari kita pulak
*If you want people to respect you, you must respects others
*If we want people to be kind to us, we must be kind to others
Lesson I learned and reflect a lot:
*Hari ini hari orang (minta tolong), next time hari kita pulak
*If you want people to respect you, you must respects others
*If we want people to be kind to us, we must be kind to others
Salam...sharing is giving, sharing is winning, sharing is caring...so i dont see any point why we shouldnt help and participate.....they never really understand the important of research even they earned their PhD...sometimes they just think they r so good...not all coz i know some who are very good and easy going
ReplyDeleteassalamualaikum puan jem..
ReplyDeletejust read ur blog..nice but font so small la=) erm..sory sbb xdapat membantu sgt..mesti bukan suatu yg mudah kan utk buat kajian puan jem ni..erm..chaiyok2..n all da best=)
probably to them some things are just not to be shared even with people like u...
ReplyDeleteEnjoy reading your blog, really fresh and natural... keep it up.. - kak fa
ReplyDeletearsaili, atiqah, anonymous (I think I know who u r :) and Kak Fa...you people enrich my life in its own way...
ReplyDeleteThe higher they are (education wise), the more ego they are? Perhaps? Or simply, their feelings are not meant to be shared? Personal maybe? However such, good that you take these experiences to reflect.
ReplyDeleteAre you looking into interviewing single malays from Singapore? There's me! Bingo! :-)
All the best, Kak!
Hi Sis,
ReplyDeleteNice blog. All right, in my opinion as a single lady, there are so many things that married people tend to 'take for granted' about single ladies' needs. Sorry to say this. Like some married people will say, 'oh, she's still single. nothing much to worry. She has money..she doesn't care..bla bla bla..'. May be it's true we don't have our 'extra' own family to worry about, but that's not fair to speculate. Another thing is the sexual need. As we know, sex is one of the basic needs in human being. How to fulfil this need as single lady? That's a struggle, to be honest. Ok, Islam says, fast. For how many days we can fast to conquer the sexual need? Fine, it's great if she is really religious, how about those are not? If we refer to Maslow's theory, we need to fulfil the basic needs first. So, sex is like food and shelter. What else I can think? Companionship too. Not to say 'perlu berkepit'. lol. don't get me wrong:) There is a phrase 'to love and to be loved'. Let's ask the single - whether they have fulfilled this need too? It's really hard to fulfil or find someone for this bit- 'to be loved'. I think it's too long comment. heheh...good job sis! xx