Hi all, for the last few days I met and talked to a few friends, kak Z, kak ZP, kak E, of whom I am indebted. They shared, adviced, assisted me during my 'hard' time now. I found myself at the "no end" road, I am stuck and one of the reasons is because I am worry so much and I kept on worrying and thinking about my worries and I did not "DO" anything.... hope you can understand my 'crap' splurt....I learned a few things from them of which I shall treasure wholeheartedly. Kak Z told me to start and keep on writing what she called free writing, no stopping, no editing, simply write and write. Kak ZB asked me to read banyakkkkkkkkkk to gain the skills and insights of getting my theoritical frameworks and as kak Z said, move on from my findings and bring it forward and out and try to put it in the right 'aliran' of which I'm still struggling, what is my 'aliran' a.k.a theory. Kak Z mentioned a few theories and the theorists of whom some are familiar and some are totally new to me, and being able to put my research and squeezed them in between of all these key theories. Wish me luck especially for the one who hasn't found her thories after 2 years in her journey of knowledge!!!! Personally, I learned that Phd is an individual unique experience and very much depending on your resources, be it financial, health, peaceful of mind etc. Some people are granted with some resources and limited with other resources. A is given with some resources, B is limited in other type of resources. So, no wonder one can finish in 2 years time and yet one took 6 years to complete. It all goes back to one analogy, don't compare an orange with an apple. In my case, I might not be good in my analysis, but I can highlight the richness of my data. I have to be "redha" with my lack of resources, for example, I am not good in english academic writing or in other word, not good in Australia Phd thesis writing so, I have to be 'redha' when it comes to time invested to complete my writing. There is no specific way of 'correct' or even 'good' writing, but I have to be able to highlight the uniqueness of my 'phenomenon' of study, the uniqueness such as culture and context, the different perspective we have as compared to those from other culture and religion. Kak E intellectual's input give me ideas on how to counter argue some of my supervisor's argument, that I'm looking from my participant's point of view, and Islam is embedded in our daily life, in our thinking, in our way of life, what we do and think are all related to that course, that's it. She also shared with me the importance of positionality in our research, the multilingualism issue in methodology, what is idiomatic and meaning based translation. Most of all, I appreciate some of the useful and beneficial references given by kak E, thank you my dear. I also learn from kak e and kak z the importance of triangulation, might take note on the ways to triangulate my research, of how to make it "traingulatedly sound", another important task worth doing, I guess!!! While sitting and reflecting, I think another reason for my 'laziness' is because of so much distractions nowadays, first of all I have holidays syndrome, campus is dead, no one is here, and most distraction of all is, all my families are here in Perth!!!! so, what am i doing in my office, I have to go out and spend time with them. So, trying to rationalize and justify my 'guilt' feeling by saying, I will start to keep up my 'working hour' once they got back, but when is that, 12th january and what do I do before that? Nothinggggg!!!!! So jem, where is that cool and secured feeling Jem??want to get that Jem back. To Allah, I prayed yesterday for the year end and new year supplication, and Perjalanan perlu diteruskan... Semangat perlu dicari... Usaha perlu ditingkatkan...Kejayaan pasti dikecapi.....insyaAllah.
p/s Photo courtesy of Shekeen, thanks sis!
