PhD challenges

Hi, short one from me today, just got back from lunch with my brother, we talked about PhD thingies. There are 1001 obstacles or in a more positive word, "challenges" in doing PhD. We shared some of our own friends experience and challenges. A, lost his data in his laptop when his laptop was stolen, all his research tracks were in the laptop. B and C involved in a car accident while collecting data in Malaysia. D was diagnosed as having depression after coming back from his data collection trip, of which he described as a very unpleasant experience, and very challenging. E has to go back to Malaysia after knowing that his baby is sick and later died. Well, there is so many stories behind PhD journey, it could happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere. I am blessed that so far, mine is still a 'pleasant' journey so much so, although there are ups and down, Allah is testing us in His very own ways. Be thankful always, syukur alhamdulillah. Please pray for the success of those who are doing their PhD wherever they are, amin.

Cooking Therapy

I met a few singles ladies who shared with me their passion in cooking, baking and gardening as well. Some of them were telling me that they have a dream to open their own bakery one fine day, insyaAllah. Mun jadi, promo kelak, dapat merasa air tangan some of you there. Emmm...it makes me wonder, do singles people treat cooking as a therapy? Is cooking or baking or even gardening is one of the many activities they fulfill their time with? Have to search for more literature on cooking & singles women. I personally believe that cooking can be a welcome change and relief from the busyness of other activities especially work. Don't you think so?

Nor***, Rah***, Rosh****, Khan**** told me that they like to bake & cook and then inviting nephews, nieces, friends to come over and eat. Zab***** & Azee*** told me that they love gardening. And I know somebody by the name Far*** who from my personal acquitances likes to do biscuits for Raya and even take an order for the biscuits, I should have asked her more on this during the interview. As for me, I don't really like to cook or even gardening, I don't even know what I like specifically, maybe just lepaking, and relaxing LOL :) What I know for sure is, I am a 'seasonal' cook and baker, depending on time, mood and context.

Now it's your turn to pass the salt. Toss your thoughts into the mixing bowl (aka "comments" section) below. Happy cooking, baking and gardening dear all!

p/s credit to my friend's photos, Intan; she loves to make cuppy cakes so much.

Frustrations and Rejections

Along my journey, I experienced some rejections and frustration with one of the major one came from unwilling singles to be interviewed, I have no intention to force them, after all this is totally voluntary. In our culture, people are being polite, they won't say no straight to your face but they will ask you a lot of questions and ask you to look for someone else first, if still you can't find any, then you go back to them. One even asked me, "why not interview successful women? nothing interesting about singles?" They became very philosophical in in their answer, very superficial, and go around the bushes, I know straight away they are hesitant and won't be willing to share and being sincere in their sharing. I asked myself the big W, WHY? Do they have things to hide and felt that I'm trying to dig their secret; do they feel insecure, inadequate and incomplete, just because they are not married? And interesting fact I found is that, the higher that person is, I mean education wise, the more difficult for me to approach them. Again WHY? I am expecting that people who have PhD can 'easily' participate because they know that I'm doing this for the sake of my PhD but they are making it difficult for me, so, again, WHY?
Lesson I learned and reflect a lot:
*Hari ini hari orang (minta tolong), next time hari kita pulak
*If you want people to respect you, you must respects others
*If we want people to be kind to us, we must be kind to others

Everybody is welcome

A review of the literature highlights some confusing and problematic terms used when discussing single, never married women. Many researchers have failed to distinguish between single women who are never married and women who are divorced, widowed, separated or cohabitating. The term ‘single’, which is commonly used in the literature, does not describe whether a woman has ever been married (Martin, 2001). In addition, the terms never married, not married or unmarried may infer the same meaning, but reflect a deficiency or negative perspective, that is, the lack of marriage.

In my study, the term used is ‘women who have not married’ which refers to single professional Malay women who have never been married before.

I welcome everyone to this blog, regardless you are singles, professional and sarawakian. Well, those whom I have talked to, you know who you are, some are from semenanjung, some are professional by position although not by education level, some are singles but attached, I would like to welcome everyone....happy blogging!

Welcome notes

Asalammu'alaikum and dear friends,
this is my first entry to the blog I have created with a noble intention to unite all the singles professional Malay ladies in Sarawak. While working on my data of which I got from all of you, I kept asking myself, how do I introduce A to B who seemed to have very good intention to establish an Old Folks Home in the future. And then, how to make sure A and B meet C who is very business minded and can make a business plan out of this proposal?
Other than that I'm thinking, how can I ensure that D & E meet to set a networking or an association where all the singles can unite and share their interest.
Well, I have met great people like you who teach me a lot about life of which I reflect so much and learn from. It is not so much of my final outcome, the end result which is my dissertation alone but the journey of doing PhD, the whole process of meeting, interviewing, talking to people.....it is so enormous! My goodness! I can't say it into words but I would like to express my heartfelt appreciation to those who shared with me their experience, only God will pay for all your kindness and sincerity. God Bless.