Facebook status by a dear friend on 20092011

"I think being single may not always a bad thing! What is bad is giving up hope on finding that someone special who at this moment could be 'betapok' huhuhu :D. But then again, why should I go thru all the trouble just to change my status from single to 'not single'? By being single, I dont have to ask someone's opinion before I do something to mess up my own room, my credit report or even my life! Life is great, Alhamdulillah :-)...soar like an eagle, the sky is the limit..."

salam jumaat...

dear all,

all this while, I've been listening to people giving a negative acronym of PHD as permanent head damage or partially head damage....but today I found out that the positive repertoires of PHD which are

PhD as Pengalaman Hidup Duniawi

PhD as Pedoman Hidup

PhD as Perjuangan Hidup Diri ku

short one to share and reflects!!

if I were to compare...

Salam, we went to parents info session for Farhan's next year pre-primary. In the briefing about maths, the teacher mentioned the importance of the PP kids to know, about more and less, big and bigger, long and longest and she jokingly said, the kids always want to have the biggest, the largest, wanted to be the tallest and the smartest etc.

That is common among primary kids to be always good, want to be the best but doing PhD also shows the 'true color' of competitive nature of so called "malay" people. We like to challenge and we always want to show that we "enduring" the hardest things while doing our research as if no one feel the same hardship. Then, we like to compare, but what is there to compare, PhD is totally unique to a person's project, we don't have exam, so called standard exam to compare how much do we score compare to A, B and C...yet a friend was telling me, bila dah abis sangat tak ada benda nak compare, to the extend, those who have the same supervisor, boleh compare lagi, dahi supervisor lebih berkerut masa jumpa si a or masa jumpa si b, hahahaah that is so funny!!!! we should be proud of our friend who do better than us, and push them more to be much better and not trying to pull them down. Then only can we proudly say that we have the mentality of developed country with first class attitude. InsyaAllah, this is a reminder for myself too, who sometimes 'alpa' and 'terlepas pandang' on certain thing. In conclusion, PhD is so unique, it is not for us to judge and compare an apple with an orange, it is totally fifferent thing !

If I were to compare my situation with other PhD students or couple...My husband is also studying, we only have one scholarship and we have 2 small kids aged 6 and 4. With limited finance, both are busy thinking about PhD, I still have to cook for hubby and the kids. We could not afford to eat outside. If I were too lazy, I can simply cook nasi goreng for hubby, but what abt my kids, they demands macam2, sometimes they want soup, sometimes, they want eggs, sometimes they want bla, bla, bla.....so, small kids and big kids are different. The grown up kids, they can eat what you eat. We also can't afford to send the kids to child care. So we struggle with peo having to take care of the kids as we are both studying unlike those with spouse who can concentrate taking care of the kids and the house chores.Going back to financial issue, having small kids, we are relieve, school fees is way too cheap compared to those who have a grown up, high school kids, they have to pay double, triple, quadruple quintuple or triple double you called it. Another thing is if your husband smoke, that will suck up yr allowance money just like no one business babe...so, moral of the story, every person is having his or her own challenges and every family is struggling with different things in life, therefore, it is not fair to judge and compare, to condemn and finger pointing or even to 'blame' peo if they can't endure the PhD journey towards the end, people have different level of resiliency and again different dugaan and cabaran, but one thing for sure, everything is in Allah's hand hence pray for the best of yourself and your family.

enduring...

For all my friends enduring the journey of phd...

I have often dreamed

Of a far off place

Where a hero's welcome...Would be waiting for me

Where the crowds will cheer

When they see my face

And a voice keeps saying

This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday

I can go the distance

I will find my way

If I can be strong

I know ev'ry mile

Will be worth my while

When I go the distance

I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road

To embrace my fate

Though the road may wander

It will lead me to you

And a thousand years

Would be worth the wait

It may take a lifetime

But somehow

I'll see it through

And I won't look back

I can go the distance

And I'll stay on track

No I won't accept defeat

It's an uphill slope

But I won't lose hope

Till I go the distance

And my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part

For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star

I can go the distance

I will search the world

I will face its harms

I don't care how far

I can go the distance

Till I find my hero's welcome

Waiting in your arms...I will search the world

I will face its harms

TillI find my hero's welcome

Waiting in your arms...See More

Lyrics, Go the Distance Lyrics >> http://www.stlyrics.com/

....a dramatic exemplary of strong determination

" Tak pe, jalani dan nikmati saje, lama-lama siaplah... (Dr. Adiwirman Izhar, 2010)".
Do you want to know who's that of my friend? When he did his Phd, his wife passed away while giving birth. But the baby alive. What I want to tell here... he was a strong man facing all ujian Allah. MasyaALLAH... Pak Adi, semoga dikau terus tabah...(Siti Zaharah Sakimin)

"Nak semayang subuh pon is a jihad, so what you are facing ni is dugaan / ujian, face it with sabar is jihad." "Genggam bara api biar jadi abu" "anggap phd is utk self satisfaction, don't worry abt what others think abt apa you do, yg penting you satisfied plus look for appraise from Allah" huhuhuhu byk pesan wisdom fr my dad kan? (Nonie Harun, 2010)

"Empty Cradle"

I found this poem and really interested in the meaning and wanted to share this
"Beyond grief lies hope, and beyond darkness may lie a life of purpose and meaning"

I would like to dedicate this poem to all those who lost their babies.... what they wanted from others;

I wanted them to say, “ I’m sorry about your loss” instead of trying to be upbeat
I wanted them to hug me more and to say to me, “I know this is tragic. It’s okay to be sad and cry.” They didn’t have to be sad but just respect my sadness. It would be nice if they would send flowers or cards because that’s what people do when you lose someone. They would be acknowledging that we lost a child.

I want them to bring up Adam like they would any baby who died, to come to a memorial service, to weep with me. I don’t want Adam to be forgotten by anyone. I don’t want time to take away the existence of this child.
I wanted people who have gone through this to talk with me at great length and to make me feel I wasn’t the only woman who didn’t bounce back.

What would have helped me would have been for someone to talk about the baby as a baby. I lost a BABY! To say to me, “Mrs. English, you have lost a child. You are going through grieving. Here is what to expect. Here are some guidelines. Here is a support group.”

The Art of Writing

I found that writing qualitative research is a matter of “playing the games”, a matter of playing with the words and language used and choice of right vocabulary. The style of discussion or interpretative writing in advanced analysis is different from reporting a finding as well as writing a literature. I always find myself stuck in writing my interpretation, stuck of not wanting to write in a style of reporting findings and writing literature reviews. In writing the discussion, I am supposed to critique or explain or enhance the findings and not reporting them. In interpretation too, I am supposed to support my interpretation with the literature but not criticizing or merely writing the relevant literatures.

I found that writing is a matter of the style or a matter of sentence structure. For example, there is a different of writing

They reported that they were always treated as sole caretakers of the parents and some appeared to become the breadwinners for other siblings....VS...Thus, the participants felt that they are not being treated fairly by the parents and siblings as they always have to be the caretaker......

My conclusion, learn the language of qualitative interpretative language and there are differences between interpretation and description and reporting findings and writing a literature!!!!

My beloved hubby recently post in his FB, the more you write, the more you get confused...To be honest, I can truly reflect and understand that statement my dear, but take one step at a time, sikit2, lama2 jadi bukit and the "confusion" should be treated as a catalyst to move on!